Muertadora
by DamonX
Summary: Trouble is brewing in Panama. Ron displays an affinity for his new Word A Day calendar and Kim frets over her Spanish midterm! Special thanks to Acosta Perez Jose Ramiro for help with the Spanish portions. Now complete!
1. Captain Thesaurus

Chapter 1: Captain Thesaurus

"Another Monday at Middleton", Kim Possible sighs to herself. She shakes her head as she rummages through her locker. It's just part of the usual morning routine she mindlessly performs day-in and day-out. In contrast to Kim's dreary demeanor, the hallway looks festive with winter holiday decorations adorning the locker-lined corridors.

Ron approaches Kim's locker for his usual Monday morning confab. Unlike Kim, Ron has not only a spring in his step but also manages a little swagger in his gait. "Que pasa Kimmerita? What's going on?" Ron asks.

Ron is **_always_** way too cheery on Monday mornings, Kim thinks to herself. In fact, **_everybody_** is too cheery on Monday mornings - her Mom, her Dad, Jim, Tim - everybody.

"Grrrr", Kim growls. "Another Monday. I hate Mondays. The only thing worse than regular Mondays are Mondays of a week in which I have mid-Terms. No way am I ready for Miss Sanguillen's Spanish test tomorrow. I'm dead meat."

''Carne muerta", Ron adds. ''It's Spanish for -". Ron trails off.

Kim shoots a glare at Ron. Why? She doesn't know exactly other than it probably has something to do with it being Monday morning...of a week with mid-terms.

Ron attempts to lift Kim's spirits. "Cheer up, Kim, holiday break is right around the corner. Two weeks of nothing but that fine Bueno Nacho cuisine, horror movie entertainment, and sleeping until noon! Besides, this is the time of year when the effervescent spirit of normal people proliferates the wintry dysphoria and brightens even the most revolting of locales. Why, just gaze upon our normally dank academic surroundings, Kim. The décor is resplendent in its holiday festivity!"

Kim stands frozen. Her mouth hangs open for a few seconds while the words that inexplicably originated from Ron Stoppable's mouth are fully absorbed. She blinks. She thinks. She blinks again. Kim gathers herself and starts to respond. For perhaps the first time in her life, she really doesn't know what to say. Before any sound can escape, she stops, regroups, and tries to collect herself once again. So many questions to ask yet only one emphatic, elongated word is uttered…"Whaaaat?"

"What what, KP?"

"What was THAT?" Kim asks. "Did you just drop a 'resplendent' on me?"

"Oh that? Surprised? Astounded? Taken aback even? I owe it all to you, Kim. It's the Word-A-Day calendar Hanukkah gift you got me. It's very, very, very, very….very…uh…cool. I'm learning so much! Check it. Resplendent - splendid or dazzling in appearance. Brilliant."

"Ron, I know what resplendent means."

"January 26th", Ron proudly proclaims.

A puzzled Kim responds, "What?"

"January 26th", Ron repeats. "Resplendent is the word for January 26. I'm already up to April 11th!"

"Ron? You read ahead…on a calendar! Who reads ahead on a calendar?" Kim raises her index finger. "It's **one** word per calendar day; hence, the WORD – A - DAY CALENDAR!"

"I know. I know, but - ", Ron eyes Principal Barkin walking towards the two and whispers to Kim, "Hey, there's Barkin – watch this!"

"Hi, Mr. Barkin", Ron cheerfully greets his principal as he approaches.

Skeptical of Ron's cheerfulness, Barkin reluctantly addresses the pair of students that often – way too often he thinks to himself - cause him so much trouble. "Stoppable. Possible. Staying out of trouble I hope."

Before Kim can respond, Ron enthusiastically replies, "Affirmative Mr. B., and might I add you are looking quite provincial today, sir."

Barkin, unsure of Ron's intentions, isn't sure how to respond. "Wha-?", he starts then stops himself. Barkin wonders about the nature and intention of Stoppable's ruse. Principal Barkin remembers his steadfast 'Don't ever trust Ron Stoppable - Never ever ever" rule. The rule has served him well during his tenure at Middleton High School.

Barkin thinks to himself that he doesn't, for the life of him, understand these kids. The best course of action is to leave the two and discern Ron's scheme in the comfortable confines of his own office.

"Um, well…thank you", Barkin utters as he walks away.

Kim is dumbfounded. Once Barkin is safely out of earshot she starts to chastise her partner, "Ron, you know you just called Barkin –"

Ron proudly answers, "A hick? A bumpkin? A hayseed? Yep. Oh, sure, there'll be detention – perchance even a disparaging mark on my permanent record - but for now I have the power, Kim…WORD POWER! It's so", Ron mentally searches for the perfect word, "…suscitating!"

Kim rolls her eyes.

"February 24th", Ron adds. "Wow! Who knew that knowledge and grammar skills could actually be useful to a high school student!"

Kim responds with a sarcastic, "Yeah, who knew", as she starts to close her locker door. Before she can close the door and begin her day the familiar "do do doo do" chimes from inside her locker. Wade's face appears on the in-locker monitor.

"Hi Kim. Hi Ron. What's going on?"

"Wade!" Ron calls out. "Our perspicacious prodigy and compatriot." Ron then proudly offers up, "March 27th, January 12th, and March 3rd."

Wade looks in Ron's direction for a moment as he digests the flurry of words and nonsensical dates Ron has just reeled-off. Wade decides he's not even going to try to understand what Ron is up to so her turns to Kim and modifies his greeting, "Hi Kim. What's going on?"

Kim lets Wade in on the situation. "Ron's tripping on his new Word-A-Day calendar. He's even reading ahead – "

"April 11th", Ron interrupts, "medusoid – a jellyfish or a shape resembling a jellyfish."

Wade can only muster an "Okay" which sounds more like a question than a response. "Hey, did you get my gifts?", he asks.

"Yeah. Mine came Saturday," Kim says and holds up a maroon colored makeup compact case. "Thanks."

"Kim, did you try it out at all?"

"No, not yet. I really didn't go out this weekend."

"Kim. Kim. Kim", Wade shakes his head. "You don't really think all I got you was a simple compact, do you? Press the button."

Kim presses the button and the case opens. As with any compact, it contains a mirror, an application pad, and powder. "Oh, I get it. So what is the powder?"

"No, not the –", Wade starts to reply.

"A solvent?"

"No, it's just -"

"An explosive? An absorbent? Oh, I know, it's a protein shake mix."

"No, no, no. It's none of those things. It's actually only blush – but really good blush. It's 'La Créme de Visage' by Voleurs de Francais. Press the button again, though."

Kim presses the button. The mirror folds down exposing a circular blade. After about a second, the blade whirrs to life. The compact/circular saw vibrates in Kim's hand.

Ron lets out a "Bon diggity".

Wade tells Kim, "It's a mini handheld circular saw. It cuts through wood, glass, plastic, and small gage steel. The next time you need to get into a lair and Rufus isn't with you, this should help you."

"Cool!" Ron unzips and opens his jacket showing-off his own gift from Wade, a new shirt. "Then what does this shirt you got me do? Is it bullet-proof? Oh, does it have an invisibility cloak? An invisibility cloak would totally rule!"

"Sorry, Ron. It's just a shirt from Smarty Mart that I thought would look cool on you."

"Oh….yeah. Cool. That's, y'know...OK. No, it's – I like it, I like it a lot. Heh heh," Ron says but it's clear he's a tad bit disappointed he didn't get any cool secret gadgets.

Kim decides to bring the focus of the conversation back to the matter at hand, if Wade is contacting them, there might be a situation that needs addressed. Is Monkey Fist causing trouble again? Has Dr. Drakken conceived another ill-fated plot at world domination? "So Wade, what's the sitch?"

"Oh, no sitch… at least not yet. I'm monitoring a situation in Panama. They are experiencing declining water levels in the canal locks and it's not clear exactly where the water is going. It may be nothing but I'll keep my eye on it."

Ron starts to say something but Kim is quick to put a stop to any more of Ron's displays of increased vocabulary knowledge. Kim reaches out and holds her hand over Ron's mouth saying, "No! Not another word from...from Captain Thesaurus until after I'm out of hearing range. Got it?"

Ron attempts to speak again.

Kim presses harder on Ron's mouth. "I said 'not another word'. Understand? A simple nod of the head will suffice."

Ron nods his head in agreement. His eyes display the fear of Kim's Monday morning wrath – a friendly wrath but a wrath he has been the victim of many times before. Kim removes her hand and Ron only offers up a forced, hesitant smile and wave as Kim marches off to her first period class.


	2. The Plot Liquatiates

Chapter 2: The Plot Liquatiates

Señor Senior Sr. stands proudly on an expansive balcony surveying the progress of his latest diabolical plan. He takes a deep, satisfying breath and can't help but to say, "Very good. Yes, very good indeed.''

"Father! How much longer? I am quite anxious to get totally tubular in my new wave pool," Señor Senior Jr. inquires. Junior sports wrap-around sunglasses, flowered shorts, and a nose covered in zinc cream. "I am jonesing to practice doing a frontside bottom snap into a backside air reverse."

Senior Sr. looks at Junior for a moment and asks, "Do you even know what that means?"

Junior answers, "I don't know **_exactly_** what it means but it is supposed to be really difficult. If I can learn how to do this I can become a famous surfing legend and use my fame to propel myself into a teen pop sensation!"

The two Seniors stand and gaze upon a gargantuan-sized chasm. The chasm spans as far to the left and as far to the right as the eye can see. Several water pipelines empty into the vast artificial reservoir, which stands about one-quarter full.

"Junior, emptying the most important waterway on Earth, the Panama Canal, is quite an evil scheme. For that, I am proud of you."

''Thank you father."

"But this foolishness about building the world's largest wave pool and becoming a surfer...Junior, it is unbecoming of an evil genius. It is uninspired. It has no imagination."

"No?", Junior responds.

"No. An evil genius does not revel in adoration," Senior raises his fist, gesturing powerfully, "he basks in the fear, terror, and power he wields - like a great swordsman brandishing his blade. It's not about achieving the fleeting adulation of mindless teenaged girls and boys; it's forcing governments, world leaders, and multinational corporations to bend to your will – to succumb to your evil whims.

"How about if I become an **_evil_** surfer? I could knock people of their boards, or kick sand in their face. Then, I could give them my evil laugh – heh heh heh heh."

Junior's (not so) evil laugh still leaves much to be desired in the eyes of his father but the notion of becoming a surfer, or a teen pop sensation, is simply not acceptable at all to the senior Senior. "Junior, we shall discuss this at a later time. An evil genius is always two steps ahead of his arch nemesis and I anticipate Kim Possible and her sidekick will be along shortly to investigate. We must be prepared if we are to savor the sweet nectar of victory. Our adversary is a worthy foe. I must check on a few arrangements I have been preparing."

"What can I do? Can I go lube-up my board? I am so stoked."

"Fine. You may go lube and stoke whatever you desire", Senior Sr. says as he dismisses Junior with a wave of his hand.

Junior strikes a pose pointing at his father, "Cowabunga. We shall catch each other on the flipside." Junior leans in and, in almost a whisper, translates for his father, "that means I will see you later." Junior runs off to his wing of the mansion.

The elder senior shakes his head and mumbles under his breath, "Why couldn't I have had a daughter?" Señor Senior Sr. heads off to attend to more important matters.

-

* * *

- 

Finally, the end of the school day arrives for Kim and Ron. Ron sits while completely engrossed in every word Miss Sanguillen speaks. In fact, all of the boys in the class gaze upon Miss Sanguillen, mesmerized by her youthful attractiveness. Kim, on the other hand, can think of nothing but class concluding and getting out of there as fast as she can. She can disarm bombs, fight hand-to-hand with monkey ninjas, and more than match wits with Dr. Drakken, but she does not like her chances of passing her upcoming Spanish mid-term.

The end-of-class bell rings. "¡Disculpen¡ Disculpen! Escuchen, su examen es mañana. Estudien mucho esta noche. ¡Buena suerte!" Miss Sanguillen tells the class.

Ron gets up from his desk and starts to leave. Kim grabs the back of his shirt and asks him, "What did she say? I didn't catch a word she said. I'm so sunk on this test." Before Ron can even answer, Kim begins to panic and grows more upset that Ron has not answered her question – even though he hasn't given him a chance to respond. "Ron! Tell me! What did she say to us? I – I – I'm..."

"Relax, Kim," Ron says, patting Kim on the back, "Study hard tonight and good luck!" Ron starts to walk away.

"Ron Stoppable! Don't tell me to study hard and wish me good luck then just walk away like that. With all we've been through together? Why can't you tell me what she just said? Is it some inside joke? Did she make fun of me? Did she just tell everybody that I'm going to fail? What's the –".

Ron interrupts Kim, "Amp down, KP. That **_is_** what she said. She told us to study hard tonight and wished us good luck…in Spanish, of course. Why are you flaking?"

"I'm not flaking," Kim weakly argues back knowing Ron is correct.

"Sheeyah, right, and I love monkeys," Ron retorts. Ron tries to calm Kim down. He spreads his hands apart, "Maintain, KP. Maintain. We study together. You know this stuff as well as – actually, much better than – I do. Why the anxiety?"

Kim and Ron start walking down the hallway. "I don't know…it's just…I don't think she likes me."

"She likes you just fine. What gave you that impression?"

"It's just that…well…," Kim stops walking, "what makes all the guys in her class go ga-ga over her? She's nothing special, right? She's just an average teacher…".

Ron excitedly and animatedly answers back, "Who's a 15 on a 10-point scale of babe-i-tude! And that accent! Whoa¡Me gusta mucho! **_That's_** what I'm talking abou….", Ron trails off.

For a moment, Ron believes he literally sees steam emanating from Kim's ears. He wisely decides to change the direction of the conversation. "Is that what's causing you to flake? That the guys like Miss Sanguillen?"

"No", Kim sheepishly answers.

"Yes, it is. You're jealous! Wait…you're jealous of Miss Sanguillen? You? Head cheerleader? Honorary Global Justice agent? Redarguer and obfuscator of the villainous?"

"Redarguer? Obfuscator?"

"February 24th and January 31st," Ron says.

Kim rolls her eyes, "Uhh…right".

Kim and Ron start walking again. "I'm just saying relax. You have no reason to be jealous of Miss Sanguillen. Outside of these school walls, you know the material as well as anybody. You just need to get your mind off of Miss Sanguillen – although I have a hard time doing that myself - , " Kim slaps Ron playfully on his shoulder, "and stay focused on the matter at hand. ¿Comprendes?"

"Sí, yo comprendo", Kim says sheepishly. "Gracías amigo."

"De nada," Ron acknowledges as they arrive at Kim's locker. Kim opens the locker and her monitor comes to life.

Wade greets them. "Kim. Ron. Good timing. I'm starting to get a handle on the situation down in Panama. They've experienced about a 40 percent water loss. All travel through the canal has ground to a halt." A satellite image appears on the monitor. "My infrared satellite imaging system picked up a series of underground pipelines that are siphoning off the water from the Panama Canal and piping it east. It appears the water is being deposited into a large, abandoned quarry outside the villa of Chepo. I did some research, and the quarry is – are you ready for this? - operated by a mining company, that is a division of a holding company, that is wholly-owned subsidiary of a private investment partnership. The investment partnership is called "Más Antiguos Investments".

Kim looks at Ron. Maybe she does know her Spanish as well as Ron says. Kim's face grows stern. She looks at Ron and says, "Más Antiguos, Ron. The Seniors!"

"Wade, can you –", Kim starts.

"A ride? Done and done, Kim", Wade interrupts. He looks at his watch. "It should be there right…about…now."

Kim and Ron look at each other and both sort of tilt their heads in order to hear a little better. Neither can hear anything out of the ordinary. Kim speaks up, "Wade, are you sure? I don't hear anything."

"It's there, Kim. It's an experimental plane from the National Jet Propulsion Research Foundation. It's the most advanced transportation system ever conceived." Wade adds, "I'll monitor the situation in Panama. You'll be there in about an hour."

Kim can't believe it. "An hour? All the way to Panama? Are we taking a rocket?"

"A rocket? Oh no", Wade answers, "a rocket would take to long."


	3. Night Night Now

Chapter 3: Night Night Now

Kim and Ron exit the school and walk out into the school's courtyard. Both look around in all directions yet see nothing. As they stand there looking, a rope descends from seemingly out-of-nowhere. Kim sees the rope and, with her eyes, follows it up to its apex. The rope seems to disappear into thin air but a haze shrouds the area enveloping the top portion of the rope.

Kim taps Ron on the shoulder and says, "I think our ride is here, Ron. C'mon."

Kim climbs up the rope and disappears into the haze at the rope's end. Ron continues to look up at the rope. With trepidation, he slowly approaches the rope. Kim's upper torso appears out of the haze and waves to Ron. "Ron, it's OK. Let's go."

Ron enters the jet's interior. Kim and Ron are greeted by the plane's pilot, Capt. Buzz Yeager. "Welcome to the ZX-77, the world's most advanced aeronautical transport system." Capt. Yeager begins to count-out the plane's abilities using his fingers. "It has radar invisibility, visual invisibility, it can fly at Mach 4, and has hover capability. In addition –"

"KP! Look! Xbox!", Ron suddenly shouts and runs to a nearby seat.

"You have to excuse my friend. He's a little…excitable", Kim says apologetically.

"No problem. I have children of my own. Heck, I've even collected a few plasma swords on Delta Halo myself, if you know what I mean", Capt. Yeager nudges Kim, "but I'm sure you are in a hurry. Come on up to the cockpit and buckle-up."

"Ron, the Xbox can wait", Kim tells Ron, "you'll have plenty of Xbox time during Holiday break."

"Killjoy", Ron mutters under his breath.

"I heard that and I know what that means", Kim mockingly sings her partner.

Capt. Yeager turns off the ZX-77's invisibility shield. What emerges is a black, futuristic jet with backswept wings. The jet ascends vertically then takes-off in a flash towards its destination in Panama.

As the jet propels towards its Panamanian destination, Kim and Ron sit behind Capt. Yeager. Much to Kim's chagrin, the conversation has turned back to Ron's "Word Power".

"What's really cool is knowing that bloviate – March 12th- has **_nothing_** to do with vomiting the vegetable drink", Ron comments.

"Ron, that is sooo disgusting."

"That's what I thought, too, but it actually has to do with talking loudly about nothing. Who knew?

"**_I_** knew! I meant that…", but, hoping to end this conversation, simply offers up a, "nevermind."

But nothing stops Ron Stoppable that easily. "And imagine how shocked I was when I found out that commodious has NOTHING to do with smelling like a toilet!"

"But, Ron, those are words you should have learned back in 9th grade vocabulary", Kim argues.

"That's 'vocabulario', Kim, and the only words we ever learned was –"

"-were-", Kim corrects.

"-WERE….words like 'silla', 'ventana', and 'sombrero'."

Kim tells him, "Ron, you're confusing Spanish and English again."

"¿Yo estoy? No me gusta", Ron says as he slaps his own forehead.

Capt. Yeager turns around and tells the duo, "OK, kids, we're approaching the villa of Chepo. We're going into visual and audio stealth mode. People on the ground will be able to neither hear us nor see us. We'll hover over a remote dispatch point allowing you to repel out of the plane."

"Great", Kim replies. "Thanks for flying us down here so fast."

"Don't mention it at all. After you stopped that industrial espionage ring that was trying to steal design plans out of our lab, it's the least we could do for you."

''Oh, that?'', Kim dismisses with a wave of her hand, ''That was no big. I didn't have any plans that weekend anyway.''

The black plane instantly transforms to nothing but a barely noticeable translucent haze. About one-half mile from the Senior's mansion, Kim and Ron repel onto a hill in a tropical forest overlooking the Senior's compound, which includes the mansion and the giant reservoir, now filled about halfway to the top.

"Look at that!" Kim nudges Ron. "That's where all the water from the Panama Canal is being emptied. But what is Señor Senior Sr. up to? It almost looks like he's…? That's it! He's **_stealing_** the Panama Canal. He's using the abandoned quarry to build his **_own_** canal! All he needs to do is a little excavation to extend the quarry and he'll have it. If he gets away with this, he'll regulate about 40 percent of the goods bought and sold in the Western Hemisphere!"

Kim points to the near end of the mansion. There are several guards on the ground protecting it in addition to three guards on the rooftop. "Look, one section of the mansion is the only part that seems to be guarded. There must be a reason it's so well guarded. C'mon, let's go."

Kim and Ron make their way through the brush of the tropical forest. Ron whispers to Kim, "How do we get in there?"

"I don't know just yet." Kim continues to survey the scene. "See the windows on the second level? The guards aren't anywhere close to them. They're all close to the balcony's edge looking over it. They're expecting people to come via the ground."

She motions to the flagpole above the second floor. "We can repel in through the window below that flagpole. Quick! Follow me."

Kim and Ron climb a nearby tree. She shoots her grappling gun and the hook wraps around the flagpole. She secures the gun to the tree. Kim and Ron attach their repelling carabiner clips to the line and quickly slide towards the second floor of the mansion.

Unbeknownst to Kim and Ron, two small security cameras placed on the corners of the building follow the path of Kim and Ron as they slide toward the building. Kim and Ron both land on the balcony. The guards notice the two and start running after them. Kim kicks the nearest window and dives in, closely followed by Ron.

Inside the building, they both perform a little flip-and-roll maneuver and instantly stand up only to notice that the room is completely empty. They both look around, their footsteps echoing in the hollow room.

"Something isn't right, Ron. I get the feeling this could be – "

A loud succession of thuds resonates around the two as hi-gage steel panels close over the door and the windows.

"- a trap", Kim dejectedly concludes.

Señor Senior Sr. greets his new captives via loudspeaker, "Welcome to casa de Senior my teenage adversary. I –"

Señor Senior Jr. interrupts, "-we-".

"we", Señor Senior Sr. continues, "have been expecting you. Frankly, I was expecting you twenty minutes ago. Is everything OK?"

"Yeah, well, seventh period ran over a little bit. You know how it is", Kim responds.

"Good. Good. I was worried that my opponent would not be at the top of her game. Your defeat would not be as satisfying if that were the case."

Kim will have none of the senior Senior's shenanigans, "Señor Senior Sr., we both know how this end; you know we'll end up thwarting your plan –"

"Not this time you won't, Kim Possible. Why not join me in the research facility? I have a special surprise waiting for you", Señor Senior Sr. offers.

Kim asks, "Do we have much choice? How do we get there?"

"It's a long trip. First, you'll need your rest", Señor Senior Sr. answers.

Kim and Ron wait. They look around in anticipation of something happening but there is nothing.

Señor Senior Sr.'s voice is heard over the loudspeaker, "Junior! Why aren't you paying attention? I just said the 'you'll need your rest' line."

"Sorry father."

Another protracted silence.

"Father, do you want me to push the button now or do you want to say your line again? You know, like we rehearsed."

"Just push the button, Junior, just push the button. The moment is lost."

A sigh is heard over the loudspeaker, followed by what sounds like walls starting to sigh.

"Ron! The walls!" Kim anxiously surveys the room. Gas nozzles extend from the walls and emit an unknown gas.

"Kim? What is that…stuuuuufff….?" Ron slurs his last words. His shoulders hunch over and he starts to slump.

"Ronnnn…..i-i-it's some sort….some sort of….knockoutttt….gas", Kim mumbles just as she passes out on the floor.

Ron sports a lazy grin as he stumbles across the floor, "Kim…and…Ron…go…night-night…now….". Ron falls to the floor, "night-night…now…. night….night…now….night….."

Ron lands with a thud onto the cold floor.


	4. Behold the Muertadora

Chapter 4: Behold the Muertadora

Kim regains consciousness. She struggles to survey her surroundings but realizes she is strapped to a table. She hears water stirring and rippling beneath her but she sees no trace of Ron. As she slowly regains her faculties Kim calls out for Ron.

As Ron slowly awakens, his eyes quickly focus on the water pooled directly above him. "Wha? Water? Directly above me?", he unknowing says aloud, "That doesn't make any sense!" Ron comes to the realization that he is strapped to the underside of a cold steel table and there is a large pool of water below him when he hears his name being called.

"Kim? You OK? Where are you?"

"I'm up here. I think we're strapped on opposite sides of this table. Ron, can you see anything of significance from where you are?"

"There's no floor. It's a large pool with what looks like fish in there!"

A sliding paneled door opens. Señor Senior Sr. and Señor Senior Jr. saunter along an elevated walkway towards the two teenaged captives. Señor Senior Sr. admires his handiwork as he surveys the scene; his arch-nemesis and her sidekick are strapped to opposite sides of a table and virtually helpless. The table is suspended on both ends by a 35' long titanium beam attached to either wall. The whole table/beam apparatus is suspended 20' above an indoor pond. Even the walkway on which the Seniors stand is still 15' away from the captured pair. Señor Senior Sr. is confident the two have no chance of escaping this time.

"Ahhh, not just any fish", Señor Senior Sr. adds, "the shapes you see moving below you are a special DNAmy project for which I paid quite a large sum of money. She has combined that mindless savagery of the Caribe Azul Piranha with the dexterity and intelligence of Panama's most aggressive land animal – the black spider monkey."

Ron reacts, "Spider Monkeys? Why do they do this to me! Genetically mutated crosses of piranha and ANY kind of monkey is sick…and wrong! It's sick **_and_** wrong! And to house them in an indoor mere as some sort of torture advice – THAT is sick and wrong, too!"

"A mere indoor what?", asks Junior. "This is no mere indoor pool, it is quite a remarkable – "

Ron corrects Junior, "No, not 'mere'…'**mere'**! You know a plashe? Natatorium? January 9th. Hello!"

Señor Senior Sr. asks, "I do not understand. What is the significance of January 9th?"

Kim let's out an exasperated, "Don't ask."

Says Junior, "Why are we not allowed to ask? He has piqued my curiosity."

"Ron is geeked about his Word-A-Day calendar. In fact, he's even reading ahead.

"April 11th", Ron yells.

Junior's face contorts expressing his disbelief. "Who reads ahead on a Word-A-Day calendar? That is not the correct procedure."

"That's what **_we've_** been telling him and whenever he uses a word from the calendar he also tells us the date the word appears on the calendar."

"That is…peculiar, but of no consequence." Senior Sr. turns his attention back to Kim, Ron, and the DNAmy experiment. "Instead of boring you with the details, allow me a quick demonstration." Señor Senior Sr. removes a banana from the inner pocket of his jacket. He peels the banana and dangles it over the railing above the indoor pond.

"I have been careful to feed them only minimally in order to ensure their vicious demeanor should a feeding opportunity present itself." Señor Senior Sr. drops the banana into the pond. Suddenly, swarms and swarms of furry piranhas fight over the small morsel of food in a frenzy of flying fish.

Sheepishly Señor Senior Sr. tells them, "DNAmy calls them her little….Furryfins." Senior is embarrassed of the name but proudly tells them his own name for the horrific abominations circling directly below Ron, "But I simply call them 'Nature's most efficient killing machine".

Kim chimes in, "Excuse me, Señor Senior Sr.? Spider monkey pirahnas don't **_actually_** exist in nature .How can they be 'nature's most efficient killing machine' if they don't occur in nature?"

Señor Senior Sr. quickly dismisses Kim's argument, "You are simply arguing semantics. I stand beside my earlier statement."

Kim thinks back to the reason her and Ron traveled to Panama. "You'll never get away with this. Siphoning water from the Panama Canal in order to start your own shipping route will never work."

Junior interjects, "Aha! That's where you are wrong, Kim Possible. We are building the world's largest wave pool. I will practice my extreme surfing skills for the next couple of weeks and become a world famous surfer. I will then parlay my fame into becoming a teen pop sensation. I can't wait."

Senior holds his head in his hand and shakes his head back and forth. "Junior, I told you. All this surfing foolishness is unbecoming the evil genius of a Senior. There shall be no wave pool."

"No wave pool?", Junior asks. "No shooting the curl?"

Junior is saddened by the news that he lost his beloved wave pool.

"Junior, I told you, wave pools and surfing are not a fitting outlet for our evilness. Now, come this way, I have a surprise for you." Senior and Junior walk over to a control panel.

"Father? There is a button on here with Kim Possible's picture on it."

"Yes Junior. That is the button for the Muertadora."

Both Junior and Ron ask in unison, "Muertadora"?

Señor Senior Sr. and Kim respond simultaneously, "Machine of death."

Ron chimes in, "That doesn't sound good." Glumly he says, "No me gusta."

"Junior, you may push the button."

A series of trembling, pulsating whirrs and crunches resonate in the room. Articulating arms with rotating saw blades, large boring bits, and high voltage probes extend from the walls, slowing and agonizingly advancing towards Kim and Ron.

Señor Senior Sr. leaves Kim and Ron with a parting boast, ''That, my teenaged foes, is my greatest invention yet. The Muertadora is inescapable, unrelenting, and...unsurvivable."

Ron corrects Senior Sr., "Do you mean fatal? Lethal? How about lethiferous? I don't think 'unsurvivable' is a word. Maybe it's after April 11...but I doubt it."

''I think you're about to find out", Senior counters. He turns to Junior, "Junior, come with me. There is still much work to be done."

"But Father, should we not stay behind and make sure that everything works as it's supposed to?''

Senior reminds him of the supervillian "code". "Junior, it's simply not done that way. We will leave them alone and assume everything has gone according to plan."

"But Father -''

"Junior! The code, Junior. We must remember the code. Without it, we are merely villains…not supervillians.''

Senior walks out of the room shaking his head. Junior reluctantly follows him looking back a couple of times.

Kim and Ron hear the menacing sounds of the Muertadora bearing down on them.

"K.P.! What's the plan? You have a plan, right? Tell me you have a plan!"

"No plan, Ron", Kim answers. "Worse, do you realize that, even if we somehow manage to cut through these ropes, you'll plunge into the pool of monkey-pirahnas!'' Kim asks as she struggles against the restraints, not entirely sure of a plan to free her and Ron; however, she knows by the approaching sound of Señor Senior Sr.'s Muertadora she needs to act fast!

Ron responds, "But if we don't get out of these ropes, we're goners anyway. I'll take my chances with the monstrosities below. Just find a way to emancipate us from these ligatures…**_post haste_**! March 10th, January 22nd, and January 16th!"

"Ron! That's not helping! Remind me to buy you a more subdued gift next year!" As soon as she gets the words out, Kim remembers….

"Ron, that's it! The gift! My compact from Wade - with the miniature circular saw!"

Hope renewed, Kim instantly reaches into her right pants pocket but her hopes are dashed as the rope around her upper leg blocks her hand from reaching Wade's invention.

"Ron, I can't reach it. The rope holding you up is digging into my legs. Can you try to maneuver around and try to give me just a little more slack?"

"Sure, KP." Ron squirms and shuffles. In a matter of seconds, he has positioned himself so that the rope that was around his upper thighs is now positioned around the small of his waste. "Try it now."

Kim reaches for the compact again. She can barely touch the compact but is unable to obtain any controlling grasp. The gloves she wears were especially designed by Wade to help strengthen her grip when climbing and repelling. The gloves, unfortunately, don't help with grasping the compact stuck so deep in her pants pocket. Kim writhes and twists, first, to free herself of her glove and, second, to allow her hand enough access to grip the compact.

In the midst of Kim's attempts to fight the restricting ropes, each twist and squirm applies upward pressure on Ron and slams him into the underside of the table to which they are tied. Thud. Thud. Thud. Ron's head and back repeatedly strike the cold steel. Ron is expierencing a painful application of Newton's Third Law of Motion he learned in Mr. Lucas' Physics class! The back of his head can testify that every action has an equal and opposite reaction, indeed.

Kim slowing works the compact closer to her hand and – Success! – she grabs it and removes it from her pocket. As Wade taught her, Kim pushes the button once to open the compact then pushes the button once again. The circular blade comes to life as she starts to cut through the rope around her arms.

As the blade slices completely through the first rope, it slides away and falls into the water below. However, the removal of the rope causes Ron's upper body weight to be supported by solely by the rope around his waist. As Ron's upper body exerts more force, Kim is the unlucky recipient of even more downward pressure on her midsection, too.

Simultaneously, they both let out an "oof" as the rope adjusts to the increased load and chokes off the next few breaths. Kim, focused on getting out of this situation before the Meurtadora reaches them, does not fully think through the consequences of her next action. Ron, on the other hand, is fully aware of his fate. He hears and feels the rope around his waist start to weaken. Unfortunately, his breath has not returned. As he yells for Kim only an inaudible wisp of air manages to escape his mouth. As the rope completely gives way, the air returns from his lungs, "No! Kim! Don't cut the –", but it's too late.

Hearing Ron's cries Kim instinctively grabs hold of the rope before it falls away. Kim cannot see Ron but she hears him scream as his body falls forward only for his feet to catch on the last remaining rope. Ron dangles perilously above the monkey-pirahna infested waters for what seems to be an eternity but, actually, it's only a fraction of a second. Ron's shoes overcome the friction of the rope and his body surrenders to gravity and he falls into water with a violent "KER-SPLASHHH".

"Ron!", Kim shrieks. Realizing what just happened she calls out for her sidekick but there is no time to dwell. Not only can she hear the din of the Muertadora approaching but she believes she can actually smell the rotating metal and electricity. Kim loops an end of the rope in her hand under and through the rope at her feet She carefully balances herself out onto the round steel beam supporting on end of the table allowing for sufficient slack in the rope that used to bind her lower legs. She sizes up the distance of the space between her and the platform with the Muertadora's control panel.

She takes a deep breath. Holding onto the rope in her hands she dives off the far side of the beam and contorts into a tuck position. Normally she would have tucked if only to increase her angular velocity before her dismount attempt, but this time she **_needed_** to tuck in order to prevent losing her legs to the Muertadora's articulating blades!

Kim accelerates through the perigee of her flip around the underside of the steel beam and releases after swinging another 45 degrees from the bottom. Her feet are pointing at the railing on the target platform so she executes a back 180 flip in order to orient herself hands-first, giving her a chance to grasp the railing. As she flies toward the railing she's thinking ahead to getting to the control panel, stopping the Muertadora, then rescuing Ron from the monkey-piranhas. Mere microseconds pass as she analyzes, discards, and reworks her plan to save Ron. She then scolds herself for not focusing on the immediate task at hand – reaching the platform railing. Her heart sinks as she realizes she dismounted a little too late. The distance to the platform precluded any attempt to actually land on the platform. Optimally, she would land doubled over the top of the railing. Sure, it would hurt a little, but it offered the best chance at staying on the platform without falling.

Her alternate plan (and she always has a backup plan) would be to grab hold of the top railing, slowing her fall enough so that she could hold onto the second or bottom rail.

But Plan A and Plan B are out the window. Because she dismounted to late, her velocity took her higher instead of further-out laterally. If (and it will be a big "if) she is lucky, she will get one attempt at grabbing the platform's floor. There is only one chance at this, otherwise she's into the water, too. She extends her hands and feels the platform's edge strike her palms. She closes her fingers and holds on for dear life but her velocity and momentum won't allow her to steady herself and her left hand slips free of the platform.

Kim dangles from the platform's edge trying to assess her situation. She cries out to Ron but gets no answer. The Muertadora is chewing through the table to which she and Ron were tied just minutes before. Shards of steel are flying all around her, smacking into her, or striking the water below.

As Kim hangs from the platform by only her right hand, she realizes that the hand keeping her from falling just happens to be the hand from which she discarded her glove. As that thought slips from her mind, so does her hand slip from the platform. She focuses on the water below. Interestingly, Kim's first thought as she hits the water is how refreshing the water feels after all that work she did freeing herself from being tied to the now-obliterated table. But her mind quickly focuses on the DNAmy abominations dwelling in the water and the nipping at her ankle she already feels.


	5. To the Egress

Chapter 5: To the Egress

Kim pops to the surface gasping for air. As the air rushes back into her lungs, the ingested water causes her to cough. As if that wasn't bad enough, her thoughts turn to the monkey-piranhas. She feels brushes against her right ankle. Kim isn't one to go down without a fight so, with her right leg, she kicks at the horrible monstrosity brushing against her leg.

"Uh-oh", she mutters as she strikes something really solid, really big. Her mind instantly runs through the myriad of DNAmy creations that she possible just must very, very mad. All of a sudden, there is a swell of water behind her.

"Ow!" Ron rubs his head. "You kicked me on my head!"

"Ron! Are you OK?"

Ron rubs his head a little more. "I think I have a contusion."

"What about the Monkey-Piranhas? Have they attacked you?"

"No, not at all. I think they're actually scared of me."

"I guess that kinda makes sense. I remember from Zoology class that piranhas rarely attack anything larger than them and, if I remember correctly, most South American monkeys eat only fruit and nuts. It's the African monkeys that are carnivorous."

"April 9th?" Ron asks.

"Ron, don't start with that. We need to find a way out – now. Once Señor Senior Sr.'s Muertadora hits the control panel, I don't know what will happen. I really don't want to know, either."

"Follow me. I think I found an egress." Ron then mumbles, "February 4th."

"I heard that!"

Ron takes a deep breath and dives under water. Kim follows him. The two swim towards the near wall, where there is a Plexiglas wall leading to an outdoor reservoir that soon will carry all the shipping traffic the Panama Canal once handled. Kim removes her compact once again and presses the button twice. The mini-circular saw activates. Kim cuts a large circle in the clear plastic barrier.

Ron and Kim swim through and surface safely outside of the mansion. Both swim to shore and catch their breath. The ground starts to rumble and shake. They look back at the room in which they were imprisoned just a few minutes before as it crumbles and falls into the giant man-made canal.

"Gee", says Ron, "you think Señor Senior Sr. would've thought that one through a little better."

"Follow-through isn't really one of Señor Senior Sr.'s strengths." Kim scans the area. A six-story building, detached from the mansion, catches Kim's attention. At its peak sits a room that looks much like the bridge of a large cruise ship that overlooks the canal. There are several pipes running down an exterior wall of the building leading into the ground. Kim points to the room, "I think that room up there is the command center from where the ships will be navigated. I bet the controls for the locks and will be there, too. If we're lucky, so will Señor Senior Sr. and Junior."

Kim and Ron scamper over to the pipes and start to climb. "Ugh," Ron lets out, "not only did they take our grappling guns but my pants weigh a **_ton_** after getting all wet." Despite the added weight of the water, they quickly reach the roof of the building.

Standing on the roof, Kim and Ron look around for a way to get into the control room below them. "Do you have any rope left?" Ron asks.

"No. No rope. There's a ventilator shaft that might just be wide enough for us to fit. Let's try that."

The duo jogs over to the ventilator shaft and climbs into it. They crawl through the duct work and reach the canal's control room. Kim holds up her finger to her mouth in order to tell Ron to be quiet. She surveys the room and sees four men she guesses to be technicians, but there's no sign of the Seniors. Kim punches the screen and jumps into the room, quickly followed by Ron.

The technicians turn and examine the cause of the commotion. One of the technicians hits a red alarm button. A bell starts ringing and the technicians dart out a sliding door in the far wall. At the same time, three guards run into the room. The guards and the two teenagers square-off against each other. The quintet pace back and forth, sizing-up each other. Before any kicks or punches are thrown, the sliding door opens once again.

Señor Senior Sr. strolls into the room. Even with the aid of his cane, he still moves in an elegant manner befitting a man of his worldly, if not recently evil, accomplishments. Señor Senior Jr. follows lumbering in-tow, a stark contrast to the refinement of his father. "I see you have somehow escaped the Muertadora. It seems I have underestimated you once again." He turns to Junior, "Perhaps you were right. I tried to show you the classy manner in which to dispose of an arch-foe, Junior. Now, we will do it your way – the simple way. The provincial way."

Ron's face beams. He waves his hand in recognition, "Hey! I know what that means." In an instant, Ron realizes the context of Señor Senior Sr.'s use of the word and the role of the three large men standing in front of him and Kim. A sullen expression washes across his face, "It means we're going to be in a lot of pain, doesn't it?"

Señor Senior Sr. answers, "Yes, it does. Without a doubt. I would like you to meet Juan, Jorge, and the very large man directly in front of you is the one they call "El Ringo". They will be inflicting much physical pain upon you two before you are eventually disposed of. Vaya con dios."

Kim sternly replies, "No, Señor Senior Sr. Hasta pronto. **_Muy_** pronto."

Jorge lunges at Kim. Kim drops low and, using Jorge's momentum flips Jorge into the nearby wall. He hits the wall with a shattering "THUD" and slides head-first onto the floor, dazed momentarily. But the victory is short-lived as El Ringo pounces onto Kim and lifts her up off the floor. Kim is locked in El Ringo's dreaded "Abrazo Fuerte de Panama" – the Panamanian bear hug! Kim struggles and thrashes against it but realizes that she is only using up a now-limited supply of oxygen as El Ringo squeezes the rest out of her.

Juan slowly advances on Ron. Ron assumes the monkey kung-fu defensive posture. Juan and Ron circle counter-clockwise waiting for the other to offer an opening or make a crucial mistake. Ron notices Kim slowly losing her battle with consciousness at the hand of El Ringo's bear hug and slyly positions himself between Juan and El Ringo.

With El Ringo's back to Ron, Ron runs away from a surprised Juan towards the towering El Ringo. Juan realizes Ron's intention too late as Ron makes a running launch to the back of El Ringo's left knee. El Ringo's left leg is forced from under him and he falls backward. Kim slams hard into his chest, not only loosening El Ringo's grip but knocking the wind out of him at the same time.

Observing this, Señor Senior Sr. turns to Junior and advises, "Junior, this has turned against us. We need to make our way to the escape craft." Senior and Junior walk hastily to an elevator and disappear.

Juan, chasing after Ron, sees the dazed Kim Possible and redirects his pursuit towards her. Kim quickly regains her faculties and springs to her feet. Juan sees this and realizes he has lost any advantage he once may have possessed. He screeches to a halt and stops just outside Kim's kicking radius….or so he thought until a soggy, black rubber sole connects with his mid-section. Air instantly escapes his lungs and he is sent flying backwards. Years from now, his children and grandchildren will marvel at the imprinted scar on his upper abdomen shaped like the "Club Banana" logo.

Juan crashes into a technician's workstation and slumps over. Kim and Ron look around the room for the Seniors but they are nowhere to be found. Below them, the floor rumbles as a loud engine starts. Ron and Kim run to the windows overlooking the canal just in time to see a speedboat launch from a few floors below them, splash into the canal, and speed away towards the horizon. The speedboat's two unmistakable passengers are Señor Senior Sr. and Señor Senior Jr.

Ron asks, "What do we do now?"

"We can't catch-up with the Seniors. Quick, we need to find the controls for the locks." Kim and Ron survey the control panel until Kim finds switched labeled "Esclusa 1" through "Esclusa 7".

"Here they are, help me switch these to 'Vacío'," Kim instructs Ron.

Ron starts switching the dials as instructed. "I know vacío means empty but are you sure these are for the locks? I thought lock was cerradura."

"Cerradura is a door lock. These are **_canal_** locks."

"See? There's no need to flake over Miss Sanguillen, you **_do_** know Spanish better than me. I just don't understand why we are emptying the locks."

"For one thing, emptying all the locks at once will overflow any reserve runoff channels hopefully forcing the water to flow back to the real Panama Canal." Kim adds, "Plus, if we are quick enough…"

Señor Senior Sr. pilots the speedboat through his canal. Junior sits beside him letting the wind flow through his hair. Both sport stylish sunglasses and, despite the defeat by Kim Possible, both feel fortunate to have escaped to attempt another large-scale villainous plot.

Señor Senior Sr. notices the canal door in front of him start to close. He immediately steers the wheel to the left sending Junior flying overboard with a "KER-SPLASH!"

"Father!", Junior yells towards the boat as it speeds away.

Señor Senior Sr. completes the turn and races in the opposite direction as the canal door they just passed through closes. Senior cuts the throttle on the boat, turns the wheel again to the left, and makes his way back to Junior.

As Senior floats to Juniors side the water level starts decreasing. Junior tries to scramble on the boat but can't quite make it. "Father! Throw me a life vest! I can't get into the boat! Father, help me!"

Annoyed, Senior tells Junior, "save your energy. In a few seconds, not only will you be able to climb into the boat, you'll probably fall into it."

As all water disappears, the boat hits the bottom with a thud and, as predicted, Junior does a face-plant into the boat, his spindly legs flailing. The boat is mired in the mud that used to be the bottom of a canal lock number four.

Junior rights himself in the boat. "Father, what happened?"

"All the water was emptied from the lock. We're stuck."

"We're stuck?" Junior pulls his surfboard from the back of the boat and sets it down on the ground. "Well, while we're waiting for help, I'll take this time to practice some moves on my board."

"Junior?"

Junior looks up from his feet positioning on the board, "Yes, father?"

Senior sighs, "Nevermind, Junior. Nevermind."

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Chapter 6: Fortnight

Thanks to the XZ-77 Megasonic jet, Kim and Ron returned to Middleton early enough to get some decent study time in before today's Spanish final. Kim and Ron sit in their assigned seats working fastidiously on the exam as Miss Sanguillen says, "Five minutes left. Start wrapping up and be sure to check your work."

Five minutes pass and Miss Sanguillen announces, "That's time. Pencils down. Bring them up here and place them on my desk. Have a good vacation. I'll see you in two weeks. Dos semanas ¿no?"

Ron sports an ear-to-ear grin as he hands his test to Miss Sanguillen. He walks towards the door but his eyes and stare stay fixed to his pretty Spanish teacher until he runs straight into the wall. Ron rubs his head, chuckles and walks out the door where Kim waits on him.

"I forgot to ask you, what happened in your meeting with Barkin this morning? Was he angry?"

"Angry, Kim? I think angry is an understatement. Imagine an acrimonious, livid, and acerbic man. Now imagine one thousand bees stinging him one thousand times for one thousand days."

"Wow! That mad, huh?"

"Double that and, yeah, you pretty much have Mr. Barkin during our meeting."

"So, what's the damage?" Kim asks. Detention?"

"Yeah."

"How long?"

"I don't know," Ron responds, "what's a fortnight?"

-

The End


End file.
